After waking up (23rd of September, 2012)
She woke up with a heavy headache. Perhaps caused by the drop in atmospheric pressure. She hurried
to make an old fashioned hot coffee. As it used to be made long time ago. It is the only kind that
Silly likes. They sit at the table. He is in one of his weird morning conditions, when it seems to him
that he understood something. It is too early for him to be thrilled, he is just playing with rearranging
thoughts, reformulating the insight. It amuses him.
She is a little bit better. The headache became tolerable. She thinks about her job. To many things to
be done. She doesn't have the strength she used to have, when she was young. It seems to her that she
needs to invest triple time for the same work. And mornings pile up, one after the other, so quickly.
A coffee after a coffee.
He finally spoke. He found a way to state the thought he woke up with.
- I sometimes think that you and I, not knowingly, direct the part of the world we live in.
She is surprised. It could be that he is in good mood today. She didn't expect it. It rains.
- I know, you think it is an unusual thought. Perhaps even wrong, but listen.
- When we are bad to each other, when we say ugly things to each other. All right, it is mostly I who make mistakes.
OK. When I screw up. Say in the morning. When I wake up badly. I am nervous, I create an uncomfortable atmosphere.
Perhaps not even by talking, but with moves, with looks, wrong reactions. Then I pass it on to you. To you for certain,
but to other people also. Say, participants in traffic or colleagues at work or students. And you and each of these
people who were in contact with me pass a part of that stress further, to some other people that you contact with.
- And so the bad and wrong state of spirit spreads. Like a disease. From one person it can go quite far. From one
end of the city to the other. And then, due to bad mood of a single person something happens. The rage concentrates on
someone, someone who is weak, to whom something bad happened before. And that someone perhaps kills someone else,
plants a bomb somewhere, or fires someone else, he is bad to his children or his wife. And far below all that, it all
started from waking up badly. Me waking up badly.
- Butterfly effect in chaotic systems. And imagine a day like this, when it rains and the pressure is low. A lot of
people wakes up badly in days like these. And you can be sure, something will happen today. It won't be nice. Someone
somewhere will jump off the bridge, someone will kill someone else. Trust me. And all that, this strong concentration
of rage in people which we will later call criminals or suicides, started from us. Perhaps even from me only.
He stopped talking. Rearranging his thoughts again. He didn't think of anything optimistic after all.
Antonio Šiber, 2010.
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Last updated on 23rd of September, 2012.